Toticos Dominican Spanglish Glossary v3.1

So you don’t know mucho Spanish papi… but want to come to DR to fuck some big booty Dominican chicas? No problem! I advise you to get 2 English/Spanish dictionaries at the dollar store and carry one with you, and leave another copy on your coffee table for reference. Honestly though, the girls don’t really want to hear you talk much. In English or Spanish. I’m serious man. They speak in pesos and dollars. Try to avoid saying “no” and “maybe” and you’ll be their new superhero… those words are kryponite to a Dominican girl. So if you just learn a few common key-phrases you’ll get by just fine. By the way this Glossary is constantly updated so check back often. 🙂

Abusadora – literally “the abusing machine” or a girl who abuses and takes things too far. Always taking never reciprocating back. Eventually 85% of DR girls become abusadoras.
Cheapy-Cheapy – you’re a cheap motherfucker. however, don’t take it personal when said by a dominican whore.
Novia – Level 1 girlfriend. Your main bitch. the one you see the most often and spend the most on. The one you take out in public.
Cuero – Level 2 girlfriend. something like your mistress, your 2nd string girl. Your “novia” is aware of you fucking her and they may be friends. You don’t take her out in public.
Amante – Level 3 girlfriend. your secret out of town girlfriend nobody knows about. Your Novia and Cueros do not like this bitch at all but know she exists.
Ven Aki (aqui) – Come here
KLK? (que lo que?) – Whats up?
Tu ta loco perra! (tu esta loco) – You’re crazy bitch!
Mama guevo! – Suck my dick!
Es Verdad si? – Are you really telling me the truth? (good luck on that one nigga!)
Yamame no tengo minutos papi! – Call me back I want to burn up your cellphone minutes instead of mine
Cono! Ese hierba son basura – This weed is garbage. Fuck!
Lo siento pero yo no habla con putas – Sorry but I don’t talk to prostitutes (always good for a laugh)
Cuanto muchachos tu singar hoy? Dime la verdad. – How many guys have you fucked today? Tell me the truth.
Cuantos bambinos y es todo mal? – How many kids you got, and how bad are they?
Voy a la bomba – I’m going to the gas station (IMPORTANT: best spot for you to pickup/dropoff girls without witnesses)
Las chicas de Passions son 2500 pesos todo la noche, tu ta mafiosa vaca – Passions girls are 2500 pesos all night, so stop trying to hustle me you heffer.

Even more useful phrases

Ay Cono! – Oh shit/damn/fuck! (depending on how loud you say it)
Tiene Papi Chulo? – Do you have a Pimp daddy?
Singame! – Fuck me!
Adonde va? – Where you going?
Conmigo mi casa – Come to my house with me
Cuando? – When?
Mafioso – Guys who don’t pay as promised, guys who steal shit, corrupt dominicans, 3rd world pornographers from america with big cameras, etc
Mafiosa – Girls that steal iphones, jewelry, money, etc.
A que hora? – At what time?
Tiene cocaina? – Do you have cocaine?
Condone – Condom
Culo – Ass
Toto – Pussy
Penga – Dick
Totico – Small Pussy
Totone – Big Pussy
Yo tengo un carro – I have a car
Yo soy un cheapy-cheapy negrito para nueva york – I am a cheap ass nigger from new york
Yo soy un rapero. Yo sabe Young Jeezy y Vov Abraxas. – I am a rapper. I know Young Jeezy and Vov Abraxas.
No propinas para tu – No tips for you
Calmate perra, yo necisito voy a cajero – Calm down bitch, I need to go to the ATM machine
Mi madre vaca esta enferma – My mothers cow is sick
Mi bambino padre esta muerte – My babydaddy is dead (dominican girls say this ALL the time)
Yo estoy un abogado – I am a lawyer (note: 70% of dominicans say they are lawyers!)
Enviar Western Union, ahora papi! – Send western union, right now daddy!
Cuando su novio salir? – When does your boyfriend leave? (useful phrase for locals and longterm visitors)
My friend – Universal spanish for “I want your money”
Ey yo mane! – Common phrase uttered by begging streetkids to new york negroes. Its the only english they know. They want your money too.
Del otro lado – The other side. (say this to a DR chica in bed, she will understand it means turnover for doggystyle, let me spoon up hit it from the side, etc
Ladron – Thief/burglar/politician/lawyer (pick one)
Llego papa – Daddys coming. This is actually the slogan for “papa” Hipolitos presidential campaign. Likely to be the next president. You hear people chant it all the time.
Tambien – Also, me too, I agree. Affirmative statement like “yeah okay, right on, etc”. Say it at the end of all your conversations with dominicans
No bulto – No bullshit
Mira, ella tiene culo bonito – She has a beautiful ass, look at it!
Que es eso? – What is this?
Esta dieciocho anos? Tiene cedula? – Are you 18 years old? Do you have photo ID?
Buenas/Salud – Your basic everyday greeting, more proper and formal than saying Hola mi amor 24/7 like an american idiot
Mierda – Shit
Damelo mami – Give it to me baby